Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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