Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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