I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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