She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
