During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
