she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
