My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
