I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
