no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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