I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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