VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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