You just made me feel so damn special
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
