A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Randomize
