Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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