But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
sarcasm needs its own font
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
