Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
