Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
