Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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