Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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