wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
