I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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