wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
