The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
lol hangovers are for mortals.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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