And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize