The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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