Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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