Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
