that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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