apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
