We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
