I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
