My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
