She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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