I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize