Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
