i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
