So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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