i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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