last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Boobs speak an international language.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
