Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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