I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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