he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
