Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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