Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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