Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We are all done wearing pants today
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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