If that was your dad, he is hot
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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