Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
