If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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