Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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