With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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