And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
