My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
