This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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