He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize