you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize