Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
as a side note pls kill me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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