I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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