I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Enjoy the penises
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
