Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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