Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
