Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
