i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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