So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
