so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
