you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
