I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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