Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
